Daniela and Mateo ... The Beginning

I haven’t been sleeping well lately, so while I was lying in bed last night, listening to the dog chew on a bone and fart, I had an idea.

Remember being young and exchanging letters or emails with someone you had feelings for? The thrill of seeing their name sitting in your inbox or mailbox, and the flutters in your stomach as you read the sticky sweet words wrapped up in mundane conversation. Now, imagine the person you were exchanging letters with was a poet, a romantic, the type of person we all wish we had as a pen pal (but not necessarily as a partner because they would probably drive us insane).

2020 + Covid has made us all feel isolated. The stress of the election has us all glued to our phones for news alerts and is DEFINITELY ruining the ten minutes of calming meditation I am doing every afternoon. So, in an effort to spark the unbridled and sometimes tortured romantic hiding in the dark corners of my cold, numb brain, I am creating a fantasy.

Daniela and Mateo met at a film festival in New York and enjoyed a whirlwind weekend together. When the festival ended, Mateo returned to his life in Brooklyn while Daniela flew back to Los Angeles. That’s all you get for now.

Here we go …

Mateo -

I miss you so much it hurts. I’m lying in my bed, staring out the window and wondering where you are at this exact moment. Are you curled up in bed with her? Does she have her hands on your body in all the same places mine once were?

I feel like my body is floating in time and space, the sheets barely touch my skin as if there is some type of bubble encasing my entire being. I can’t think of anything, can’t focus, can barely breathe without you.

I took a shower earlier, filling the bathroom with lit candles and steam. I lathered every inch of my body with scented bubbles, and allowed the hot water to flow in and out of my open mouth as I imagined you were with me.

I didn’t expect this, didn’t ask for it. I was fine before, and now I am not. I wonder if you feel the same way, if your body feels foreign and your home unfamiliar. I look into the mirror and I do not recognize myself, this woman who once felt so confident, so sure, now floating about like a ghost trapped between two pools of nothingness.

I need to see you, to feel your body’s response to my touch, to know I am not losing my mind.

I feel misplaced, my home now thousands of miles away and embedded in your being.

xo Daniela

Read Mateo’s response …